I was in a deep hole. In my last post I had just began to climb my way out of the deep end. As we learned from The Big Chill there are few things better than a good rationalization. To sum up, mine was, “Who needs friends?”

It was starting to work… I hoped…

But then, something came along that ended my deep depression in one fell swoop.

A twelve day, skull splitting headache!

All I could think about was the pain!

I stopped thinking about my problems, my issues, my loneliness. I didn’t have a choice. “THROB… THROB… THROB…” I felt like Harrison Bergeron! with his earphones blaring claxons to elimate all cogent thoughts.

It worked. I worried that my tumor had returned. I didn’t worry about isolation and dispair. I didn’t worry about how others thought about me…

I didn’t worry about anything but about the pain! I couldn’t think through the pain. The pain was all that was in my mind… well that and the thoughts of the tumor returning,

Pain and anxiety overpowered my depression.

At least so far…

Advertisements