One day…

 

Not any day soon, but one day…

I’ll be truly alone. What is left of my family will be gone and I’ll be alone. I’ll find some way to carry on for some time. However, knowing myself as I do, I have to consider the likelihood that I’ll end my own life. Depression will get the best of me.

 

Tonight a thought occurred to me: If I do choose to end my own life, will I do it while I’m depressed or manic?

Will I end the pain or end on a high note?

 

I’d like to think I’d do neither, that I’d continue to explore life, travel, find adventure… 

but I know that I’ve dealt with depression from my childhood until now and I don’t expect that to change in my older age. Once those few close to me are gone, I’ll have a hard time holding on…

So, Up or Down?…

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